It has been a real push among myself and other church leaders lately to shift more of the responsibility for discipling children and youth to the parents, something clearly taught in scripture.
Deut. 6:4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
We can see that Israel did not take this command serious and their future generations would suffer much for their faithlessness to teach their children to love and obey God.
Judges 2:7 So the people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great works of the Lord which He had done for Israel. 8 Now Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died when he was one hundred and ten years old. 9 And they buried him within the border of his inheritance at Timnath Heres, in the mountains of Ephraim, on the north side of Mount Gaash. 10 When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the Lord nor the work which He had done for Israel. 11 Then the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and served the Baals; 12 and they forsook the Lord God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt; and they followed other gods from among the gods of the people who were all around them, and they bowed down to them; and they provoked the Lord to anger.
This need to live out and pass on the faith to our children/youth is stated specifically in the New Testament.
Eph. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
The general call to live out an authentic faith, which certainly includes before our family, is clear throughout the New Testament as well.
Matt. 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. 14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Consider the frequency with which our young people and all believers need to be given spiritual guidance and instruction.
Heb. 3:12 Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; 13 but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end,
I hope we don't expect a youth leader to come by every day to disciple our children!
OK, so what is the weird phenomenon I mentioned?
It is that when I suggest to Christian parents that equipping them to do what God has called them to do, is more important than the children and youth having ample time with other young people and a youth leader, I get very stranger objections, like:
1. What about parents who aren't mature enough to disciple their children?
Seriously, if they are Christians that is the whole reason we need to adjust to equipping parents! Having a youth leader disciple their children/youth has not pushed them to become equipped evidently, or that objection would not even exist.
2. What about the children of lost parents?
Did God tell us to prioritize teaching other people's lost children or our own children? Israel did not disciple their children and the future generations ended up worshipping the pagan gods around them. Are we sure this isn't just an excuse to not take our own call to disciple our children serious? Also, why not make reaching some lost children a family effort, show your children you are concerned enough to get involved in other's lives, not just have others do it for you.
3. What will keep youth and children engaged if they don't have fun things like youth group to attend?
First, I suspect both Israel and the NT church throughout most of history, had less “fun” than the pagan cultures around them, but those having all the "fun" generally died and went to Hell, so not such a great deal. Further, they and we are not taught to drag our children to a boring place or a fun place to be discipled, but to love the Lord with all our being and teach them why we do and why they should! It is only when and if they embrace the love for Christ, His word and His church that they will be truly attached to the church for themselves.
4. I was dragged to church when I was young and I left as soon as I could, won't our children/youth do the same if church isn't fun for them?
Yes, of course they will leave if they never come to love the Lord, His word and His church, they will leave and we should have no shock about it. We will not compete with the fun the world offers, even if we try real hard, and of course we are never told to do such things in the church in the first place.
The question is how do we best bring our children and youth to love the Lord, His word and His church?
If that is what you want, if that is what you are asking, then the question you must answer is - what does the Bible teach about how to accomplish it?
It is a bit weird for believers to not want to go to God's word for instructions on how to do ministry - isn't it?
I can't guarantee that your child/youth will get to where you want them spiritually, but I can promise you that God expects you to do it His way and trust Him with the results!
Let me repeat the wisdom found in Deut 6:5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
It would appear that our own love for God and how that overflows into our daily lives and the way we raise our children/youth is what God says is most important, if we are to obey Him!
Do your children see you as someone who loves the Lord, His word and His church? Does this love overflow in real ways throughout your daily life before your children and others? Are you always intentional about speaking God's truth into the lives of your children/youth?
If not, then let's agree we need to and get equipped to do so!
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved."
Loved this post, Keith! And it made me a little teary-eyed actually. Sometimes I would beat myself up as I raised my kids because of my short-comings as a mom. Growing up in a dysfunctional/abusive home myself, I struggled to be the mom I wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteThe house was often a mess, the kids were often a mess, I could yell with the best of them--just as my mom did, and homeschooling often wasn't accomplished by the end of the day.
Sometimes I felt like I spent all my time confessing and asking forgiveness of my family. Or explaing how I longed to be like that tree described in Psalm 1, that was firmly planted by the water and would bring forth fruit. But that trees, just like me, took a long time to grow and sometimes had to be fertilized with smelly manure. But that it was worth all the growing pains in the end and so I didn't want to give up.
Or explaining something that I had learned from His Word that day and how I had either applied it or blew it and how I hoped they would learn from both the blessings and the mistakes of my life.
Sometimes I would think, "Debbie, why don't you just shut up about God? Until you learn how to live the Christian life, maybe you should just keep the journey to yourself. You obviously won't be the poster child for a godly woman anytime soon."
But while I was beating myself up about it or comparing myself to other moms, it turns out that I was accidentally doing what Deuteronomy was talking about--sharing about God along the journey of life. It doesn't say to share your perfection. It says to share about God in the context of your life. In other words, be real.
And what made me teary-eyed about your post is that because I took my children along my stumbling yet ever-deepening journey with God and invited them to learn along with me, now they are taking me on their journey as well.
They want to talk about God. They want to talk about what they've learned or are learning or how God used them or how they blew it, but learned through it. And I just sit there and listen ... and rejoice.
Parents who miss out on being the ones to disciple their own kids, have no idea what they are missing.
Being a father, I know I fall way short in my walk. But unlike Debbie, I have not asked for forgiveness when my kids and wife see me for who I really am, a sinner. I can only ask the God grant me the strength to show my weakness and confess my inadequacies to my family and friends. Being a Christian is sometimes like the story of the "Emperor's New Cloths" ... we are scared to be seen for what we are, when all along people (especially those close to you) already see that you are not wearing any cloths. We just have to realize that sin is not unusual for us, but we should be forthcoming with our true repentance for that sin. Thanks for sharing Debbie, it was very encouraging!
ReplyDelete